For the first time ever, “American Idol” is holding auditions in the Valley area - at Jobing.com Arena in Glendale on Friday, July 25, for season eight. Given the victory of Glendale’s Jordin Sparks in season six, and the success of  former Mesa resident and fifth place finalist Brooke White this past season (not to mention the fun controversy of singin’ male stripper David Hernandez, also from Glendale). So prepare your comically bad auditions in hopes of making it for a few seconds on the early episodes, and perhaps in promos leading up to the season premiere!

“Idol” gives AZ more love this week, as they’re kicking off their “American Idols Live Tour 2008″ this Tuesday, July 1 again, at Jobing.com Arena in Glendale. Read more about it here.

American Idol
7 p.m., Fox
That picture up there just might be the silliest thing ever associated with “American Idol,” trumping the ponyhawk, anything Paula has said and the collective existnce of Messrs. Aiken and Hicks. Last night was all about the DUEL between David Archuelta and David Cook, with all the boxing metaphors and Jim Lampley one could handle. So what’s tonight about, other than an over-bloated results show where only the last five minutes could possibly hold any interest? Well, we’ve got a performance from season four winner Carrie Underwood, and also one from…George Michael. Well, that’s an odd choice. My gut says Cook is your winner, but my brain says it probably doesn’t really matter.

Law & Order
9 p.m., NBC
This season finale of “Law & Order” is lucky number 18. Thanks to Wikipedia, here are some other shows that were part of NBC’s lineup when “L&O” debuted in 1990: the short-lived “Ferris Bueller” sitcom co-starring Jennifer Aniston, “Matlock,” “In the Heat of the Night,” “Dear John,” “Empty Nest.” Other shows starting that same season: “Wings” and “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.” Would live be better if we had gotten 18 seasons of “Wings” instead of “Law & Order”? Imagine all the schemes Roy could have concocted!

Boston Legal
9 p.m., ABC
It’s the fourth season finale of “Boston Legal,” and the latest improbably zany case involves Concord, Massachusetts wanting to secede from the union. That’s not the major thrust of the drama, though, it’s just the vehicle to get Alan (James Spader) and Denny (William Shatner) on OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE COURTROOM! Well, maybe not literally, that’s not really how courtrooms are designed, but opposing counsel.

CSI: NY
9 p.m., CBS
Elias Koteas guest stars in the fourth season finale. He’s been in a lot of things over the years, but I’ll always remember him most fondly as Casey Jones in the first and third “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” movies. Well, I don’t remember the third one so fondly. That one sucked bad. But the first one for sure!

ALSO ON: The third season finale of “Criminal Minds” (8 p.m., CBS), another “Price is Right Million Dollar Spectacular” (7 p.m., CBS), the fourth season premiere of “Mind of Mencia” and not a lot else. “Idol” finale and all that, you know.

Dancing with the Stars
8 p.m., ABC
Thinking Kristi Yamaguchi is unbeatable after two perfect scores last night? I wouldn’t be so sure - the way “Dancing with the Stars” scoring works (I’m pretty sure, at least), it doesn’t really matter that she got two 30s out of 30, just that she did better than second place Cristián de la Fuente, who got 52 out of 60. So if she has gotten anywhere between a 53 and a 60 (which she got), she would be in essentially the same position. And I can’t imagine voters turning out in droves for her, given that her dominance all season hasn’t exactly endeared the country, and men always do better on this show anyway (the only female winner, Kelly Monaco, was in the show’s nascent first season, and even that was disputed with a silly “dance off” between her and the guy that played Peterman on “Seinfeld”). I do think she’s going to come in second, though, with Jason Taylor probably being the second NFL star (after season three’s Emmitt Smith) to take it all, though I suppose I could see it going the other way without being too shocked, even though I think de la Fuente’s sympathy votes for his arm injury have to be about dried up and he doesn’t have nearly the same American fanbase. I’ve thought way too much about this.

American Idol
7 p.m., Fox
Finalists David Cook and David Archuleta will sing songs picked by two ancient dudes - Andrew Lloyd Webber and Clive Davis. Though I was bummed last week about Syesha Mercado, who I thought was easily cooler and more marketable if not a better vocalists than these two dorks, getting eliminated, at least she won’t have to sing 90 seconds of whatever boring tunes those codgers unearth. David Cook will probably win tomorrow and go on to be Daughtry 2.0 (exactly what this world needs!) and maybe David Archuleta can do whatever a 17 year old with no discernible personality but a great voice can do, like go to Broadway as the world’s tiniest Danny Zuko.

Reaper
8 p.m., The CW
It’s the first season finale, but the show was renewed, which means it’ll be back midseason - January 2009 - and we won’t have to hear about what extraordinary yet misplaced efforts the show’s fans will go through to try and get it back on air (there’s a character named Sock! They could have mailed execs socks! Brilliant!). So, a victory all around, especially given the show’s clear handicap of being on The CW and not about fashionable young rich folks (and the failure of other genre shows this season, like “Bionic Woman” and the resurrected “Jericho”). Tonight’s episode involves demons setting a trap for Sam (Brett Harrison), which kind of sounds like every other episode, but surely there will be a twist of some manner.

Shark
9 p.m., CBS
Shark’s (James Woods) archenemy has broken out of jail! And he’s out for revenge on Shark! What is Shark gonna do? Shark! OK, I don’t know anything about this show. This is the second season finale, but in reality the series finale (since it wasn’t picked up), so it’s probably too late for me to learn about it. I know it has James Woods, and his name is Shark. But he’s not an actual shark, I’m pretty sure. Though that would be a bold choice. I think it’s actually just a nickname, which is disappointing, and further confirms my suspicions that I did the right move in skipping this show.

ALSO ON: Well, that’s about it. There’s the two hour fifth season finale of “NCIS” (7 p.m., CBS), a show, much like its military abbreviation predecessor “JAG,” keeps coming back year after year despite the fact that I’ve never encountered anyone who watches it.

Dancing with the Stars
8 p.m., ABC
Sorry, Marissa Jaret Winokur. You may be full of spunk, pluck, vim, vigor, and - perhaps - moxie, but you’re going home tonight. I’ve predicted you to be the one going home before, but tonight’s the night. Jason Taylor and Cristian de la Fuente (one of the more fun names to say aloud, I’ve found) are easy picks for the finals (handsome men who are fairly good at dancing = the bread and butter of “Dancing with the Stars”). Despite finishing first (again) last night, Kristi Yamaguchi probably won’t win, but she’s surviving tonight. So it’s down to you, MJDub. No offense, I loved you on “Stacked”!

American Idol
7 p.m., Fox
The three finalists will each perform three songs, with one picked by them, one picked by a judge, and one picked by the show’s producers. David Cook chose “The World I Know” by Collective Soul for himself, further cementing his status as a d-bag (though, as a male contestant on “American Idol,” the odds were certainly against him to be anything else).

Beauty and the Geek
7 p.m., The CW
Do you like “Beauty and the Geek”? Well, sorry. The CW didn’t renew the show, and this is the fifth season, so it probably is the last episode ever, though I suppose I could see VH1 or some channel like that possibly picking it up. I think the two “beauties” from Arizona (Amanda and Cara) are still in the running, but that’s mainly an educated guess.

Women’s Murder Club
9:02 p.m., ABC
This show also didn’t get renewed, which makes this the series finale. I watched part of the first episode, but didn’t make it all the way through, when I found out it was about Angie Harmon being a tough detective rather than a club of women that murder people, which is infinitely more appealing. I apparently missed Rob Estes, though. Please forgive me, Rob Estes!

ALSO ON: It’s the ninth “Law & Order: SVU” season finale (9 p.m., NBC), with, sadly, no comedic actors playing against type as rapists/molesters/murderers to speak of; the second season finale of “The Bad Girls Club” (10 p.m., Oxygen), which sounds a lot more fun than that stodgy “Women’s Murder Club;” and new episodes of the renewed “Reaper” (8 p.m., The CW), the canceled “Shark” (8 p.m., CBS), and the always classy “Shot at Love with Tila Tequila,” starring the titular butterface (10 p.m., MTV).

Holy jeez. That’s a lot of giving back.

Starting at 6:30 p.m., the second edition of “Idol Gives Back” will feature “Idol” alumni Carrie Underwood, THE VALLEY’S OWN Jordin Sparks, Fantasia, Daughtry, Melinda Doolittle (remember her?) and Elliot Yamin (remember him?). And a bunch of other people, like charitable telethon veterans Robin Williams, Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg of “Comic Relief” fame. And Peyton and Eli Manning. And Kobe Bryant. And insanely popular media superstar Miley Cyrus (mentioned here solely in a shallow attempt to drive up blog hits), though she says she’s never watched “American Idol.” I bet Kobe Bryant watches it all the time, though. “High School Musical” stars Ashley Tisdale and Vanessa Hudgens, too. And “Enchanted” star Amy Adams (yay!). Kylie Minogue. Annie Lennox, even. Boyz II Men are being taken out of mothballs for this. Celine Dion. Kiefer “Jesus, Take the Wheel” Sutherland. Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel. Julianne Moore, for some reason. And Jack Nicholson, to scare all the young people. And Forest Whitaker, to scare the young people that Jack Nicholson might have missed. And lots of other famous people. They love charities! Even Ellen DeGeneres, who had to back out from co-hosting like she did last year, will still be appearing in a limited capacity. Obviously most of these people will only be appearing in little pre-taped cutaways asking for donations. Or introducing sad video packages of poor people.

It’s for a good cause, natch - children’s charities in the US and Africa.

I had sort of forgotten.

The opening weeks, before they get to LA, are of course never really THAT interesting - unless you’re one of those weirdos who take pride in “scouting talent” from the audition process. Of course, there’s always some laughs to be had at the expense of the truly terrible candidates,  but in the post-William Hung era it’s really much more people deliberately TRYING to be bad to get on TV, and it’s not nearly as fun to laugh at their misfortunes.

The Hollywood rounds start Feb. 12, the top 12 perform on March 11, which seems really late but is actually right around when it was last year.