Our colleague Chris Page passed away over the weekend. I thought I’d share a post he wrote back on September 28, 2006 on my old blog, about his love for the Discovery Channel series “Cash Cab.” Even in just a guest appearance on my blog that was probably read by a dozen people at the time (mostly my immediate family), it’s exceptionally well-written, showing off his intelligence, humor and enthusiasm for the subject. I imagine very few people read this the first time around, so enjoy and remember what a truly clever and talented writer we’ve lost.

Can we talk guilty pleasures? (You know, besides hunting down that Screech porno …)

Have you seen “Cash Cab?” It’s a British game show import — those wacky Brits, always thinking of goofy television when they should be focusing on dental hygiene — that airs on the Discovery Channel during the day. You know, that time y’all are working and I’m still padding around the living room in my feetie pajamas, kicking a hangover.

Hosted by a stand-up named Ben Bailey — an affable everydude with a Class E license, it seems — the show picks up people off the street and gives them a ride in a tricked-out taxi that Bailey drives while giving out trivia questions.

The more questions you get right, the cash prize goes up. Get three wrong, he pulls over and you have to hoof it to your destination yourself. (I’ve seen the heartless bastard kick people out into the rain.) Then again, if you need help, you can phone a friend (that ol’ “Millionaire” gimmick) or even ask somebody off the street. Which tends to be hilarious and/or surreal.

The best part about “Cash Cab” is that, like all game shows, you watch it with an element of fantasy projection. We’d all love to hop into a cab and play some stranger a round of Trivial Pursuit for a cool $1,000. Hell, most of us would just dig getting a free ride. The last time I took a taxi, a couple of weeks ago, the guy found out I was a reporter and tried to get me to review the book he self-published.

It’s about a white guy who, like Camus’ “The Stranger” on an “American Psycho” bender, starts killing Muslims left and right, apropos nothing. Osama’s on the cover, he says. Not my bag of tea, I told him. He sounded depressed.

But I digress.

“Cash Cab.” Set your TiVo. Call in sick. It’s the best thing to happen to daytime since “The Family Feud.”

(Side thought: The only things now keeping “Feud”-master Bob Barker alive are the series of levers, pulleys and spokesmodels propping him up and the continuous infusion of protein-rich leftovers from spayed and neutered animals, which gets fed to him via a tube into that coat pocket where he keeps 100-dollar bills.)

The title of tonight’s episode? “Meet Kevin Johnson.” That’s awesome. I’ll never forget when he dunked over Hakeem Olajuwon.

(Spoilers from last week’s “Lost” follow, but I think I’m OK not hiding it with a cut given these rules of spoiler etiquette).

This is the last episode filmed before the strike, and the last one we’ll get for about a month - the final five of the season start on April 24. Given last week’s events and the title of the ep, we’ll learn a lot more about what Michael is doing on the freighter and why he’s calling himself “Kevin Johnson.”  Also, SOMEONE WILL DIE. I wouldn’t necessarily count on a major character death, but it should still be interesting.

Also on tonight: a “Smallville” that sounds pretty neat, where Lionel kidnaps Clark (I guess Lionel could only be nice for so long), and Chloe and Lana take Kara to Jor-El to try and get her powers and memories back. The main reason why I think this is neat is because I really don’t get the point of the amnesiac Kara storyline, and why they’ve wasted so much time on it. There’s really very little impact of making a character lose their memory when they’ve only been around for half of a season. They could have at least given the viewers some reason to care that she lost her memories before actually doing it.

Combine these two with the aforeposted “Miss Guided” and “Eli Stone,” I’ve got a solid four hours of TV watching ahead of me. That’s right. Form an orderly queue, ladies. And if you really want, the strike-shortened season finale of “Lipstick Jungle” is on at 9 p.m. on NBC.

Noted drama queen Marie Osmond,  fresh from nearly ruining the fifth season of “Dancing with the Stars,” is coming back to TV! With a daytime talk show starting in fall 2009 , because apparently it takes that long to develop a daytime talk show hosted by a middle-aged female celebrity, since obviously there is no template for such a groundbreaking concept.

As always:

Smallville
7 p.m., The CW
Holy cow, “Smallville” is back? It seems like it’s been at least three months since the last new episode. (A quick check of “the facts” reveals that it’s been since Dec. 13, but THAT was the last new episode since Nov. 15. Close enough!) James “Spike” Marsters, who all of a sudden is apparently hot Hollywood property, is back in this episode, reprising his role as Brainiac. And in continuing their support for actors involved in older Superman projects, Marc McClure - Jimmy Olsen in the four Christopher Reeve movies - also guest stars.

Lost
7 p.m., ABC
The nine millionth “Lost” recap show since the show’s debut in 2004. Catch up in time for the new episode, airing immediately afterwards.

Eli Stone
9 p.m., ABC
The latest from Marc Guggenheim, all-star TV producer and writer and sometime comic book writer. It’s about a hallucinating lawyer (prompting some to call it a male “Ally McBeal”), and also apparently (according to the commercials), has something to do with George Michael. The singer, not the Bluth.

Supernatural
8 p.m., The CW
“Supernatural” is also back with its first new episode in six weeks or so. To continue on the comic book writer theme of today, this episode was written by “Tick” creator Ben Edlund.

While most of the attention regarding yesterday’s seemingly inevitable announcement about Oprah Winfrey having her own television channel concerned the talk show host herself, sadly overlooked was the fact that “OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network” will replace the Discovery Health Channel when it launches next year.

I haven’t watched Discovery Health Channel much in recent years, but back in the old days it would almost always have graphic surgery shows. Which, as a high schooler, I really appreciated for both the educational value and the “ooh, gross!” aspect. As happens with nearly all cable channels, it eventually sort of gentrified, but in the process it somehow became even cooler, with just one freak show special about a wacky medical condition after another, like a real life “House.”

Here are some of my favorite hilarious awesome Discovery Health Channel program titles:

“My Skin Could Kill Me”
“I Am My Own Twin”
“Mermaid Baby”
“The Smallest People In The World”
“Can’t Stop Growing”
“Hurricane Katrina Babies”

Unfortunately, the best creepy medical show of all time, “101 Things Removed from the Human Body,” was actually a product of TLC. Oh well. Rest in peace, DHC.

Late Show with David Letterman
10:35 p.m., CBS
Katie Holmes is being let out of her cage to chat with Letterman, who’s getting all the big guests lately (check out Howard Stern on the show last week ) since Leno and Conan are going writerless. It’s a real shame that Letterman won’t ask her about the allegations in Andrew Morton’s new book, specifically that L. Ron Hubbard is the real father of Suri Cruise. I don’t know if that news would be any more damaging to her career than “Mad Money” will be.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
8 p.m., Fox
I was only able to catch about half of last night’s series premiere, but it seemed pretty cool, which was sort of surprising, because really, who was clamoring for a Terminator TV show in 2008? (Next year: “Twins,” the HBO mini-series). I hope I didn’t miss Summer Glau saying “Come with me if you want to live.” And hey, I can just catch up online. Woo. (more…)